Recently, I received a message from a wife who was desperately looking for some advice. She shared with me that her husband is a kind, loving, and wonderful man in every way EXCEPT he rarely, if ever, wants to have sex with her. In fact, they have gone months at a time without making love, and the absence of intimacy and connection in their marriage is breaking her heart and making her resent her husband.
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Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. My husband and I have been married for 30 years and have a mostly happy, friendly, and supportive relationship.
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We sent out Part 1 of this topic which focused on women not having sex , and within minutes we started receiving comments from women complaining about their husbands not wanting sex. So many people wanted to know why I took the slanted approach of wives who are refusing their husbands. Honestly, I took that approach because that is what I have been seeing in my office in droves lately. But listen, the problem goes both ways, and by the end of the day, it was obvious I was going to have to address this issue from the opposite point of view. Women who find themselves in a sexless marriage have many of the same frustrations as men. They wonder if they are sexy enough, attractive enough or thin enough. It is confusing to hear female friends complain about husbands who want it all the time and then come back to a home where no one is pursuing her. Marriage is a partnership. You enter it voluntarily and there are spoken and unspoken agreements. One of those agreements is that there will be a sexual relationship.
While you were dating and during the honeymoon years of your marriage , you lovebirds likely couldn't keep your hands off of each other. Physical attraction and sex are trademark signs of a healthy relationship, according to research published in the Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. But how does sexual intimacy between partners adapt with age? As men age, it's natural for them to experience a somewhat decreased sex drive, says Jeanne O'Connell , M. According to a review published in the Journal of Nurse Practitioners , sexual intimacy declines around age 45 and continues to decline with age. Physiological components can be at play, such as age-related changes in blood flow and shifts in hormones.
